The best thing since sliced bread!

     The best thing since sliced bread is... unsliced bread?

     Yes.  Yes, it is.  This stuff is delicious!  I had what I considered to be, and still think is, a dang good homemade bread recipe, but it is too crusty and rustic for a sandwich, in my (and my 3-year-old’s) personal opinion.  I have made sandwich rounds out of it, but they’re a bit tough and, though absolutely scrumptious, not really the thing for a PB&J or a grilled cheese. 

    So I went on a quest to find the yummiest, most scrumptious, soft, fine-crumbed, homemade sandwich loaf around.  I was recommended various recipes by several people, but none of them were the loaf I was looking for.  I tried French bread, Italian bread, Amish bread, soda bread, wheat bread, cornbread -- not, really.  I didn’t try cornbread for a sandwich loaf, but you get the idea.  Nothing was quite what I wanted. 

     I follow a few different blogs on Facebook, and this one posted a post about how they might just have accidentally made the best sandwich loaf ever, and they’d follow up with a recipe if it turned out to be true.  A week or so later, there it was:  Happy Accident Sandwich Bread.  I had to try it out, but it called for stuff I never have.  Powdered milk?  Potato flakes?  Instant yeast?  Dangit, y'all!  So I guesstimated, did some actual real math.  I hate math.  Googled a lot, surfed baking discussions forums, and finally gave it a try.  The first time, I subbed corn starch and flour for the potato flakes, and used powdered milk, because I actually had some leftover from a homemade cream-of-anything soup substitute I’d tried.  It was yucky, but it was a learning experience.  Anyway, back to the bread. I had read that any starch could be subbed for the potato flakes with similar results.  Wrong.  But it was definitely delicious, albeit dry and dense.  So I vowed to try again using actual potatoes, because potato flakes are an abomination.  Gak! 

     But... last time I made bread, my Kitchenaid mixer started smoking and dripping oil.  It has never been the workhorse that Kitchenaid used to be.  About the only thing that mixer had going for it was it was so pretty!  I love the way Kitchenaid mixers look, but their quality has definitely deteriorated over the years. 

     And that attractiveness comes with some design flaws.  Dough would creep up and wrap around the shaft where it goes into the motor housing, getting grease in the dough and dough in the spring.  If that didn’t happen, the dough would walk up the sides and flop out of the bowl.  Also the whole dang thing would walk across the counter if I didn’t stand there and hold it.  It would do that with anything stiff.  And stuff was always flying out of the bowl, no matter what I was making or how much or little was actually in the bowl.  And once it started smoking, leaking oil all over my counter, and otherwise becoming something of a risk to run, my husband told me to get a new mixer. 

     Of course, I said, Okay!!

     I searched and read and Googled, and went with what seems to be the mixer of choice for home bread bakers all over.  Bosch Universal Machine.  It came with a blender, which I probably will never use, but it also can make up to 14 loaves of bread in a single go.  Do I ever make 14 loaves of bread in a single go?  Nope.  But if it can handle that much dough, then it ought to have no trouble with my normal bread recipes that are usually between 2 and 4 loaves, or my pizza dough recipe.  I’m not going to lie, it’s not nearly as pretty as my Kitchenaid.  Honestly, I think it’s really ugly, but it’s definitely a better design and I have no functionality complaints.  I spent about the same price, too, so I'd call it a better value, since, you know, it actually works.  I wish they were paying me for this LOL.   

     I finally got to try that recipe again, with some of my own variations.  I’ve included the original powdered milk/potato flakes measurements.  I like having options.  If you’ve never made bread before, don’t worry, it’s easy.

* 2 ½ t yeast

* 1 ½ c warm water - I used the water from cooking the potatoes)

* 5c flour - divided - I used bread flour for higher gluten.

* 2T sugar

* 3T powdered milk OR scald 1 ½ c milk and use it in place of the water above

* 1 ½ t salt

* 4T softened butter

* 1c (give or take) mashed potatoes OR 1/4c potato flakes & 2/3c warm water

* 1/4c honey

* 2-3 T melted butter - You won’t need this till it comes out of the oven

     In your mixer bowl, mix the yeast with the warm liquid, be it milk or water, and let it start to do its thing.  I stare at mine until I see it starting to multiply.  I don’t know why.  Instant yeast doesn’t need this step, I’ve heard.  I have never used instant yeast, though.

     While you’re waiting, measure out the rest of your ingredients.  Have 2 c of your flour off to the side, then with the other 2 ½ c, mix in the other dry ingredients.  Mix your butter, mashed potatoes, and honey together, too.  It just makes things easier to me. 

     By now, your yeast should be merrily multiplying in your mixer bowl.  Dump your dry and wet mixes into the bowl with the yeast.  Turn on low and mix till it is all incorporated well.  Start adding your reserved flour a little at a time, until your dough is still tacky to touch, but nothing comes off on your finger when you touch it. *update* we have decided we prefer it a little more moist.  I leave it tacky enough to where just a little bit sticks to my finer when I touch it.  The bread bakes up softer.

     I know the picture is a little hazy, because the inside of the lid steamed up a little, but that's part of the beauty of it.  There is no escape!  No flour flying, no dough leaping from the bowl, just a machine doing its job, functioning as intended.  Thank you!!

     Turn the mixer on medium/medium low (2 on the Bosch, 4 or 5 on the Kitchenaid.  Some people say 6, but that's probably not good for the motor.), set a timer for 7 minutes and let it go.  I would have to stand there and hold the Kitchenaid on the counter and babysit the dough.  The Bosch just shooed me out of the kitchen and said, “I got this.”  If you knead by hand, I guess this would take closer to 15-20 minutes.

     Take the time to get out a relatively large bowl and drizzle a little oil in the bottom, maybe clean up a bit.  After the time is up, turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead 5 or 6 times by hand, shape into a ball, then place in the oiled mixing bowl.  Turn the dough a couple times to make sure it’s coated, then put it somewhere warm to rise.  I turn my oven on preheat just before I turn the dough out to knead by hand for a second.  It let it heat up for a minute or so, not too long or you’ll start to bake prematurely, and use the slightly warm oven as a proofing box. 

     Let it rise about an hour.  The lady at Homestead Chronicles had an amazingly helpful trick to know when the dough is done rising.  Poke it.  If the dent your finger made puffs back out after a little bit, it’s not quite ready.  If the dent stays after a minute or so, it’s ready for the next step.  That is SO much more helpful than “let it double,” because I don’t know about y'all, but I suck at eyeballing it. 

     Take this time to grease two standard loaf pans.  Once your dent stays, turn your dough out on a lightly floured surface and squash it down really well.  Get out all the bubbles you can.  Roll it out with a rolling pin then roll it up into a log.  Cut the log in half, tuck the ends under, and put them seam side down in the greased pans.  I’m sorry I don’t have pictures of this part, but my hands were covered with flour and bits of bread dough.  I didn’t have mine dry enough, so it was a bit sticky.  The bread is still delicious.

     Find somewhere warm to let them rise again.  Same criteria as before:  about an hour with a successful dent test.  It was a lovely warm day, so I let mine rise outside on the porch railing.   I don't like to use the oven for the second rise, because I want the oven preheated so I can bake it as soon as it's ready.

     Start preheating the oven to 350 a little while before your second rise is done.  Bake for 25-35 minutes, give or take.  Listen to your nose.  It’ll start to smell amazing, be beautifully golden brown, and sound hollow when you tap the top.  Melt your last few tablespoons of butter.  When the loaves are done, turn it out onto a cooling rack and paint the tops with the butter so they’ll stay soft.  If you want it crustier, just skip that part. *update* I wrap the loaves in a flour sack towel to keep them from cooling too fast.  This seems to keep them even softer.

     Everything I’ve read says you need to let the loaf rest all night before you cut it so it can cool completely.  I read that if you cut it while it’s still hot, you let so much of the moisture escape as steam that the bread becomes dry and crumbly.  Since that has been one of my biggest complaints about homemade bread, I told myself I was going to wait this time.  But dang it’s awfully hard to wait when that fresh-baked bread smell is filling the house.  My loaf came out of the oven around dinnertime, and I was able to hold out till around 9 p.m. to slice it LOL. 

  

     Look at that crumb!  Heaven!  And it smells so good.  This is why I will never, ever be skinny.  

     It is AMAZING.  This is it.  The winner, grand champion of homemade bread recipes!  Man... I had my first slice with just plain, unsalted, butter.  Then we had some sliced for sandwiches for lunch.  Even with mayo and mustard on it, it didn’t fall apart like every other sandwich bread recipe I’ve ever tried.  It didn’t get soggy or brittle.  It is PERFECT!!  This must be how Dr. Frankenstein felt when his monster came to life!  I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!!

    Seriously, it’s that good.  I think I need to go have some with jelly now.